No title seemed right...

Fair warning: there will be run-on sentences, rambling thoughts, and lots of BIG questions that I don't really answer. But I just had to get this out.

So lately I have been thinking about, "What is enough, What makes me happy, What is important, and How do we get there?"

What is enough?

     I keep telling myself that we don't need this or that. We could really do without it. Do I really need it? Or do I just WANT it? Would it make that much of a difference in our lives if we didn't have it?
     I am trying to ask myself these questions more and more as we make decisions on big things and day to day things. In this day I feel like we just want, want, want, but we see it as we need, need, need. I don't want Jacob to grow up like that. I want him to know the true difference between a want and a need. And I want him to understand that just because he(or we) want something, doesn't mean that we will always get it. I am not saying that we won't still indulge on the things that we want, I just want to make sure that they aren't selfish wants and that they have really been considered before making the decision.

What makes me happy?

• Seeing Jacob laughing with Isaac as they roll around on the carpet and play peek-a-boo behind pillows.
• Spending quality time with my husband, whether that be on the couch talking, having dinner, or just going for a walk.
• My new MOPS friends. I haven't made many girlfriends here in San Antonio, and until I joined MOPS I didn't realize how much I missed that companionship.
• Knowing that my mom is only a 30 minute drive away, and is always ready to love on Jacob, and me too.
• Watching Jacob swing outside. He is so carefree and just smiles the entire time.
• Singing in church. I DO NOT have a fabulous voice, but that is how I feel the closest to God. It is my time to just close my eyes and worship.
• Laying in bed at night and praying together with Isaac. That man can say one AMAZING prayer. It brings me to tears almost every night.

What is important?

• FAMILY
• GOD
• LOVE
• Food
• Shelter
• Friends
• Pacifiers---j/k, but not really, they are important these days

     Other than that, most of things left are just wants. Sure having a big comfy bed is nice, but if I had to, I could do without it. Just makes me wonder what else I/we could do without...

How do we get there?

     I think that we start with a lot of prayer and I mean a lot of prayer. And trying to figure out what we really want our future to look like. And what changes need to be made to make it that way. And does the future that WE want line up with the future that GOD wants for us. I think making sure we are on God's plan, not our own is one of the hardest things for me. I am such a planner. I love date books, agendas, calendars, etc. But I have to find a way to let God take my date book and fill it in the way that He wants.